NEW LIFE!

im single again.
back to the crowd.

new hair new life.

where's the sense in that?

i dont care! some sort of a motivation, i guess. haha

most painful thing i've ever felt...

damn im losing sleep because of this..

if i could just do something to stop my mind from racing..
thousands of things in the past just keep on entering..
my mind is so damn tired as well as my heart..
if i could just inject an anesthesia to become numb, i'd do.
im losing my system, he is.


i remember he told me how he felt for me..
the way he loved me..
things he planned for us..
then now he wants me to forget all those things..
that his words were useless..

that i should look forward and never look back..

damn! that ain't easy!

u came into my life when i was so down, that time i thought i couldnt climb up anymore... that time that my problem was my father..

u showed me the love that i was actually needed.. i've felt it.
and now, u left me in fcuking all of a sudden...
dont fcuking ask me to forget you..


"Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet " - i thought of this


I can't be this unsturdy This cannot be happening

Everything felt so different, It was so strong. We had talked about our future. Where we were going to live, whether or not we'd have kids, etc. It seemed so perfect. He was more than just my best friend, he was everything I ever needed/wanted. He got the face of what i only want to see smiling at me when i woke up in the morning..
How can something so great be torn to pieces so quickly?

i have to convince my self that i have to move on..
the fact that he doesnt care a single thing at all..
any single thing..

well. im going to be better.. stronger..

i know i shouldnt still love him and tell him that
but if i didnt say it, well, i'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?
but he live by the rules of it's over
then I'm sure that that makes sense..

i dont have to regret something that once made my life complete..
i cant regret anything about him.. any single memory we had..
he let me feel what real happiness is..
he gave me the real love, true love.
he showed me care and protection..
he made his self my strength and power..

atleast when i look at the past, our past,
i cant tell him that he's a shitte..
no, he was my greatest angeL.


and when we meet, which I'm sure we will.
all that was there, will be there still.
I'll let it pass, and hold my tongue
and you will think, that I've moved on

i will......